"My space"...can I have it?

"My space"..."Me time"..."Peace and Quiet". How important is this in a marriage? We all need our own space and time by ourselves in a marriage...away from the spouse...away from the kid(s). There is nothing negative about this. This space, however long it may be, can be a time of reflection, a time of rejuvenation, or just a time of relaxation.

I think some confusion from the spouse may come when they see what is being done during this "Me Time". For guys, we may want to go hang with the boys or go play a round of golf; while the ladies my want to go to the spa for the day with her girlfriends. Heck, it may only involve some quiet time in the house alone. As a husband or wife, you need to respect what your spouse wants to do during that peaceful time and trust that nothing is being done to hurt, harm, or destroy your family. Just know that your spouse had a life before the two of you were married and you will not have 100% identical interests.

Sometimes the chaos of the family can be overwhelming and just downright tiring. As a loving spouse, you need to be attentive in recognizing when your spouse needs a break from the chaos. At that point, you should volunteer to clear out the house by taking the kid(s) out for the day so that your spouse can enjoy some relaxation time alone. Now you would hope that this is returned in favor when you need it also; but don’t do it expecting it to be returned to you. Do it because of the love, compassion, and consideration you have for your spouse.

At this point I have discussed you allowing your spouse to have some peace and quiet time. Don’t forget about yourself. If your spouse never offers to take the kid(s) out for a while so that you can relax, then ask for it. Or plan an event for yourself and let your spouse know when you want to do the event. In many cases, your “my space” opportunities are not going to manifest on its own…you will have to make these opportunities happen. When you get your “my space” time, make the most of it so that you are reenergized to enhance your marriage and family.

Think of it like this…what happens when you put new batteries in something? It operates at its highest potential. That should be the case with you and your spouse after you get your “me time”. You and your spouse should be operating on all cylinders within your family and marriage.

So to answer the question, “My space…can I have it?”. YES...because you need to be operating at your best for your spouse and family.

Let me know your thoughts.

Take care and be blessed.

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Take Care of Home

Home is where the heart is. If your heart is somewhere else, then how can you take care of what you have at home? If your heart is not at home, then where is it? When you said “I Do” on that day that you will always remember, you did not say these two words for nothing. I would assume you said “I Do” commit to be there with and for my spouse always. You may have also stated “I Will” during that very special day you were joined with your spouse.

“I Will”. The words “I Will” to me depict never ending action. “I Will” love my spouse always. “I Will” give my all to my marriage. “I Will” provide my spouse with all that I have. “I Will” ensure that my spouse feels secure within our marriage. Both you and I can go on and on thinking of more “I Will” statements that apply to what a marriage should consist of. The question that must be personally asked is…what “Will I” do in my marriage to ensure it lasts?

When you are joined in marriage with your spouse, at that point in time, there should be only one relationship more important than your relationship with your spouse…and that is your relationship with God (or at least that is the case for me). Other than that, no other relationship should come before your relationship with your spouse. Now please don’t get confused when I say relationship. I am not speaking solely of relationships with people. Think of “relationship” as “priority”. Now ask yourself, do I have something prioritized above my spouse?...is my job prioritized higher than my spouse?...are family and friends prioritized higher than my spouse?...is church prioritized higher than my spouse?...are my dreams and aspirations prioritized higher than my spouse?

These are questions that you have to ask your inner self. No one can answer them for you. If you are honest with yourself and realize that you have something prioritized higher than your spouse and marriage, you need to make an immediate change so that you can take care of your marriage…take care of home. This may require taking a break from an activity that you love or temporarily putting your goals and aspirations on hold. In extreme cases, it may require a career change.

You have to do what you have to do to make your marriage work and last. If you don’t take care of home (your spouse), you may not have a home to go to one day. Make a declaration…”I Will” take care of “home” so that “home” will take care of me.

Let me know your thoughts.

Take care and be blessed.

Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone