The question that I ask myself is..."What do I want to be remembered for?". My answer to this question has become my lifelong measure of success. When I first dug into this question, I jotted down many things ranging from "remembered for creating meaningful and beautiful art" and "remembered for being fair and just in my business practices". I do feel these are very important in my life, but they were not in my Top 3.
My Top 3 "What do I want to be remembered for?" or my "Measure of Success" are:
1. I am known as a great husband, father, grandfather (one day in the distant future), and friend.
2. I tried helping people on a global scale
3. I showed the world I was a man of God by living a Godly life
Going forward, try to periodically ask yourself what do you want to be remembered for when you leave this life on earth. Answering this question honestly will put things in perspective and may cause you to make adjustments in your life to allow yourself to reach that level of success that you truly want to be remembered for. Reaching this won't come over night, but it will put you on a journey that will be full of many success stories along the way.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Don't Discount Your Marriage
How often do you notice situations in a family member or a friend’s marriage that you feel you can provide advice on? Or, what about when a friend or family member approaches you or your spouse asking for marital advise. And what if this comes from a couple which has been married 5 or 8 years longer than you have? Do you feel under-qualified attempting to give advice to the couple? Do you say to yourself, what advice can I give since I have only been married for “a single digit number” of years?
I admit, I have told myself this a number of times over the years. However, over the years I have come to realize that every couple, new and old, has a story to tell that could help another couple learn something new and grow within their marriage. Now there may be some situations where you know you can’t provide advice from experience on. Nonetheless, when you encounter an opportunity to provide beneficial advice on situations that you and your spouse went through, don’t hesitate telling your story.
Even if you are currently in the trenches with your marriage, you should still be willing to tell your story to a friend or family member that may be headed down the same path. Your candidness may be just what another couple needs to make it through the situation within their marriage.
Just remember that no marriage is perfect; however, don’t discount your marriage when an opportunity arises to help another married couple with advice. Don’t be intimidated by older married couples. Learn from them and also be willing to teach them. Your daily actions alone may be one of the most powerful tools you can use to give advice to other married couples. Just be sure to recognize the fullness of your marriage and give 100%.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
I admit, I have told myself this a number of times over the years. However, over the years I have come to realize that every couple, new and old, has a story to tell that could help another couple learn something new and grow within their marriage. Now there may be some situations where you know you can’t provide advice from experience on. Nonetheless, when you encounter an opportunity to provide beneficial advice on situations that you and your spouse went through, don’t hesitate telling your story.
Even if you are currently in the trenches with your marriage, you should still be willing to tell your story to a friend or family member that may be headed down the same path. Your candidness may be just what another couple needs to make it through the situation within their marriage.
Just remember that no marriage is perfect; however, don’t discount your marriage when an opportunity arises to help another married couple with advice. Don’t be intimidated by older married couples. Learn from them and also be willing to teach them. Your daily actions alone may be one of the most powerful tools you can use to give advice to other married couples. Just be sure to recognize the fullness of your marriage and give 100%.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Dream Team
To be married is to be part of a team. As a married couple, you should have a purpose and that purpose should be something that you provide to the world.
You can see how some married couples operate as teams when you see them as pastors of a church, as owners of a family business, or as coaches of sports teams.
While those are more public examples, there are some couples that make up great teams without public attention. These are the couples that love offering hospitality to others…couples that offer a listening ear to those that need to express their feelings…couples that provide encouragement to others…and even couples that provide a nurturing environment to raise children.
There are so many purposes that a marriage can have. As you move forward in your marriage, take the time to think about how you and your spouse work together as a team…within your family, within your house, within your relationships with friends, within your spiritual activities, and most important within your walk with God.
I think every couple should strive to show the world what it truly means to be married. We should be a beacon for why God created marriage…a family representation of God. Let’s do our part and make it happen.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
You can see how some married couples operate as teams when you see them as pastors of a church, as owners of a family business, or as coaches of sports teams.
While those are more public examples, there are some couples that make up great teams without public attention. These are the couples that love offering hospitality to others…couples that offer a listening ear to those that need to express their feelings…couples that provide encouragement to others…and even couples that provide a nurturing environment to raise children.
There are so many purposes that a marriage can have. As you move forward in your marriage, take the time to think about how you and your spouse work together as a team…within your family, within your house, within your relationships with friends, within your spiritual activities, and most important within your walk with God.
I think every couple should strive to show the world what it truly means to be married. We should be a beacon for why God created marriage…a family representation of God. Let’s do our part and make it happen.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
"My space"...can I have it?
"My space"..."Me time"..."Peace and Quiet". How important is this in a marriage? We all need our own space and time by ourselves in a marriage...away from the spouse...away from the kid(s). There is nothing negative about this. This space, however long it may be, can be a time of reflection, a time of rejuvenation, or just a time of relaxation.
I think some confusion from the spouse may come when they see what is being done during this "Me Time". For guys, we may want to go hang with the boys or go play a round of golf; while the ladies my want to go to the spa for the day with her girlfriends. Heck, it may only involve some quiet time in the house alone. As a husband or wife, you need to respect what your spouse wants to do during that peaceful time and trust that nothing is being done to hurt, harm, or destroy your family. Just know that your spouse had a life before the two of you were married and you will not have 100% identical interests.
Sometimes the chaos of the family can be overwhelming and just downright tiring. As a loving spouse, you need to be attentive in recognizing when your spouse needs a break from the chaos. At that point, you should volunteer to clear out the house by taking the kid(s) out for the day so that your spouse can enjoy some relaxation time alone. Now you would hope that this is returned in favor when you need it also; but don’t do it expecting it to be returned to you. Do it because of the love, compassion, and consideration you have for your spouse.
At this point I have discussed you allowing your spouse to have some peace and quiet time. Don’t forget about yourself. If your spouse never offers to take the kid(s) out for a while so that you can relax, then ask for it. Or plan an event for yourself and let your spouse know when you want to do the event. In many cases, your “my space” opportunities are not going to manifest on its own…you will have to make these opportunities happen. When you get your “my space” time, make the most of it so that you are reenergized to enhance your marriage and family.
Think of it like this…what happens when you put new batteries in something? It operates at its highest potential. That should be the case with you and your spouse after you get your “me time”. You and your spouse should be operating on all cylinders within your family and marriage.
So to answer the question, “My space…can I have it?”. YES...because you need to be operating at your best for your spouse and family.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
I think some confusion from the spouse may come when they see what is being done during this "Me Time". For guys, we may want to go hang with the boys or go play a round of golf; while the ladies my want to go to the spa for the day with her girlfriends. Heck, it may only involve some quiet time in the house alone. As a husband or wife, you need to respect what your spouse wants to do during that peaceful time and trust that nothing is being done to hurt, harm, or destroy your family. Just know that your spouse had a life before the two of you were married and you will not have 100% identical interests.
Sometimes the chaos of the family can be overwhelming and just downright tiring. As a loving spouse, you need to be attentive in recognizing when your spouse needs a break from the chaos. At that point, you should volunteer to clear out the house by taking the kid(s) out for the day so that your spouse can enjoy some relaxation time alone. Now you would hope that this is returned in favor when you need it also; but don’t do it expecting it to be returned to you. Do it because of the love, compassion, and consideration you have for your spouse.
At this point I have discussed you allowing your spouse to have some peace and quiet time. Don’t forget about yourself. If your spouse never offers to take the kid(s) out for a while so that you can relax, then ask for it. Or plan an event for yourself and let your spouse know when you want to do the event. In many cases, your “my space” opportunities are not going to manifest on its own…you will have to make these opportunities happen. When you get your “my space” time, make the most of it so that you are reenergized to enhance your marriage and family.
Think of it like this…what happens when you put new batteries in something? It operates at its highest potential. That should be the case with you and your spouse after you get your “me time”. You and your spouse should be operating on all cylinders within your family and marriage.
So to answer the question, “My space…can I have it?”. YES...because you need to be operating at your best for your spouse and family.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Take Care of Home
Home is where the heart is. If your heart is somewhere else, then how can you take care of what you have at home? If your heart is not at home, then where is it? When you said “I Do” on that day that you will always remember, you did not say these two words for nothing. I would assume you said “I Do” commit to be there with and for my spouse always. You may have also stated “I Will” during that very special day you were joined with your spouse.
“I Will”. The words “I Will” to me depict never ending action. “I Will” love my spouse always. “I Will” give my all to my marriage. “I Will” provide my spouse with all that I have. “I Will” ensure that my spouse feels secure within our marriage. Both you and I can go on and on thinking of more “I Will” statements that apply to what a marriage should consist of. The question that must be personally asked is…what “Will I” do in my marriage to ensure it lasts?
When you are joined in marriage with your spouse, at that point in time, there should be only one relationship more important than your relationship with your spouse…and that is your relationship with God (or at least that is the case for me). Other than that, no other relationship should come before your relationship with your spouse. Now please don’t get confused when I say relationship. I am not speaking solely of relationships with people. Think of “relationship” as “priority”. Now ask yourself, do I have something prioritized above my spouse?...is my job prioritized higher than my spouse?...are family and friends prioritized higher than my spouse?...is church prioritized higher than my spouse?...are my dreams and aspirations prioritized higher than my spouse?
These are questions that you have to ask your inner self. No one can answer them for you. If you are honest with yourself and realize that you have something prioritized higher than your spouse and marriage, you need to make an immediate change so that you can take care of your marriage…take care of home. This may require taking a break from an activity that you love or temporarily putting your goals and aspirations on hold. In extreme cases, it may require a career change.
You have to do what you have to do to make your marriage work and last. If you don’t take care of home (your spouse), you may not have a home to go to one day. Make a declaration…”I Will” take care of “home” so that “home” will take care of me.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
“I Will”. The words “I Will” to me depict never ending action. “I Will” love my spouse always. “I Will” give my all to my marriage. “I Will” provide my spouse with all that I have. “I Will” ensure that my spouse feels secure within our marriage. Both you and I can go on and on thinking of more “I Will” statements that apply to what a marriage should consist of. The question that must be personally asked is…what “Will I” do in my marriage to ensure it lasts?
When you are joined in marriage with your spouse, at that point in time, there should be only one relationship more important than your relationship with your spouse…and that is your relationship with God (or at least that is the case for me). Other than that, no other relationship should come before your relationship with your spouse. Now please don’t get confused when I say relationship. I am not speaking solely of relationships with people. Think of “relationship” as “priority”. Now ask yourself, do I have something prioritized above my spouse?...is my job prioritized higher than my spouse?...are family and friends prioritized higher than my spouse?...is church prioritized higher than my spouse?...are my dreams and aspirations prioritized higher than my spouse?
These are questions that you have to ask your inner self. No one can answer them for you. If you are honest with yourself and realize that you have something prioritized higher than your spouse and marriage, you need to make an immediate change so that you can take care of your marriage…take care of home. This may require taking a break from an activity that you love or temporarily putting your goals and aspirations on hold. In extreme cases, it may require a career change.
You have to do what you have to do to make your marriage work and last. If you don’t take care of home (your spouse), you may not have a home to go to one day. Make a declaration…”I Will” take care of “home” so that “home” will take care of me.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Time Spent Together are Memories Forever...by Wifey Wells
In relationships, time can get away from us very quickly. As couples, we have to deal with work, children, their school and their activities. Additionally, we have to make time to keep the household running properly… chores need to be addressed and errands need to be tackled.
With having all of these responsibilities, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible for spouses to spend time with one another. When we age and turn gray, what memories will we have to share with our children and our grandchildren?
Lately, I see how time has been escaping me and my husband. I do remember there was a time in our marriage where we made time for each other. Now, it’s really about the jobs and the children. With us adding to the family this coming summer, I can only imagine that us spending time alone is a thing of the past. This just isn’t a good thing for married couples. I admit that I am guilty of not making time to do things with my husband; but a lot of the problem is having someone to keep the children. I am one of those mothers who prefer not leaving her children with other people. There are very few people that we trust with our children. The people who we trust have children of their own, so sometimes I feel like we can be imposing. I think it’s just something that I have to get over personally because our network of parents don’t mind having our kids over. I know I can’t continue to use this as an excuse as God has surrounded us with so much loving support.
Last night, after putting our youngest to bed, my husband and I watched an hour of television together. I cannot remember the last time we did that. It was actually really nice to sit there with him in the family room while watching something that I really had no interest in. It wasn’t the television show that I was enjoying; it was the company of my husband that I was taking advantage of.
With knowing how important marriage is, I want to do everything possible to ensure that my marriage stays solid. I want to be confident in knowing that husband is always going to be my husband and my best friend. With this acknowledgement, I am going to make a commitment to my husband. My commitment is to make the time needed for “US” to have those moments that are going to be cherished forever. This in turn will not only benefit my husband and me, it will also benefit our children. Our children will grow to understand how important relationships are and how important it is to spend time with the one you love.
With having all of these responsibilities, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible for spouses to spend time with one another. When we age and turn gray, what memories will we have to share with our children and our grandchildren?
Lately, I see how time has been escaping me and my husband. I do remember there was a time in our marriage where we made time for each other. Now, it’s really about the jobs and the children. With us adding to the family this coming summer, I can only imagine that us spending time alone is a thing of the past. This just isn’t a good thing for married couples. I admit that I am guilty of not making time to do things with my husband; but a lot of the problem is having someone to keep the children. I am one of those mothers who prefer not leaving her children with other people. There are very few people that we trust with our children. The people who we trust have children of their own, so sometimes I feel like we can be imposing. I think it’s just something that I have to get over personally because our network of parents don’t mind having our kids over. I know I can’t continue to use this as an excuse as God has surrounded us with so much loving support.
Last night, after putting our youngest to bed, my husband and I watched an hour of television together. I cannot remember the last time we did that. It was actually really nice to sit there with him in the family room while watching something that I really had no interest in. It wasn’t the television show that I was enjoying; it was the company of my husband that I was taking advantage of.
With knowing how important marriage is, I want to do everything possible to ensure that my marriage stays solid. I want to be confident in knowing that husband is always going to be my husband and my best friend. With this acknowledgement, I am going to make a commitment to my husband. My commitment is to make the time needed for “US” to have those moments that are going to be cherished forever. This in turn will not only benefit my husband and me, it will also benefit our children. Our children will grow to understand how important relationships are and how important it is to spend time with the one you love.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Your Spouse is Not the Enemy
Having your spouse accessible at all times can have its challenges sometimes. Because of the close proximity of your spouse, you may tend to take your spouse for granted…not purposely. Also, not purposely, we may sometimes treat our spouse unfairly due to other situations experienced outside of the home that has nothing to do with the spouse. How fair and loving is that?
I know life can throw some hard balls our way at times…work…finances…sickness…loss of loved ones…plus many other life challenges. It is important to realize that in these times, your spouse is not the enemy working against you, but is your teammate…your partner…your ally. Start utilizing your spouse for one of the main reasons God put you together…as a Help Mate. Use your spouse to help you get through those tough days at the office by talking about the challenges you faced that day. Talk to your spouse about the pains that you feel or the disappointments you experience throughout the week. This should not only make you feel better, but it will bring the two of you closer as a couple.
As you continue to practice this within your marriage, you both will realize that only the devil is the enemy in any challenging situation and he can be defeated. Be sure to use your help mate…your ally…your spouse to defeat and overcome any challenges you face in life.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
I know life can throw some hard balls our way at times…work…finances…sickness…loss of loved ones…plus many other life challenges. It is important to realize that in these times, your spouse is not the enemy working against you, but is your teammate…your partner…your ally. Start utilizing your spouse for one of the main reasons God put you together…as a Help Mate. Use your spouse to help you get through those tough days at the office by talking about the challenges you faced that day. Talk to your spouse about the pains that you feel or the disappointments you experience throughout the week. This should not only make you feel better, but it will bring the two of you closer as a couple.
As you continue to practice this within your marriage, you both will realize that only the devil is the enemy in any challenging situation and he can be defeated. Be sure to use your help mate…your ally…your spouse to defeat and overcome any challenges you face in life.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Friday, March 6, 2009
To My Wife of 5 Years
Baby Doll,
5 years ago we both said “I DO” to a lifetime commitment. I never thought it would be this exciting. We have had our ups and downs over these 5 years, but we have always come out on top of any situation encountered. I must say that there is no one else in this world that I would have wanted to experience those ups and downs with.
I would like to thank you for all that you have brought into my life…from the kids to companionship, from love to laughter, and for helping me build my relationship with God.
As we continue on this journey of commitment with each other, I hope I can continue to give you all that you deserve and need.
All my love to you,
Hubby
(Go to Proverbs 18:22 to receive your original letter from me)
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
5 years ago we both said “I DO” to a lifetime commitment. I never thought it would be this exciting. We have had our ups and downs over these 5 years, but we have always come out on top of any situation encountered. I must say that there is no one else in this world that I would have wanted to experience those ups and downs with.
I would like to thank you for all that you have brought into my life…from the kids to companionship, from love to laughter, and for helping me build my relationship with God.
As we continue on this journey of commitment with each other, I hope I can continue to give you all that you deserve and need.
All my love to you,
Hubby
(Go to Proverbs 18:22 to receive your original letter from me)
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
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