C’MON MAN…Marriage Edition

What's going on in the world today with marriages?  Have you been hearing what's going on?  Have you been seeing what's going on?  Have you been feeling what's going on?  It's on T.V.  It's on the radio, in magazines, in newspapers.  It's the apparent infatuation with "let's watch them get married and get a divorce" scenario being played over and over in today's society.  C'MON MAN!

When did it become the cool thing to date, get married, and then divorce all within a 1 year timespan...or less?  Maybe the couples going through this scenario don't think it's cool.  Maybe it's a case of them just not knowing what marriage is.  Maybe they're just caught in the revolving door of what they see around them and what they see depicted in society or in the media.  Maybe they don't know any better?  C'MON MAN!

Why are you getting married?  For acceptance?  For social status?  For money (internal & external)?  To be able to say you're finally married now?  C'MON MAN!

I know we're all human and we've been given the gift of "choice" to freely make our own decisions.  With that freedom, we must choose wisely and sanely when it comes to settling down with someone and say "I DO".

To those of you who are married, stay married!  Put in the work required to ensure your marriage prospers and last.  Be "all in"...and make sure both husband and wife are "all in" together.

To those of you looking to get married, don't approach it as a project.  Approach marriage as it being the most important life-lasting decision you will ever make.  Life-lasting = till you die.  You marry your spouse with the understanding and wisdom that you will be with this person until one or the other dies.

So C'MON MAN, let's get serious about this thing called marriage. 

Honor it...respect it...love it.

Love hard and love true.

C Wells

All Talk…No Action?

I got a little taste of my own medicine with this one.  How often do you say you are going to do something and end up not doing it?  It is probably quite often and you don’t even realize it occurs.  Think about it like this, once you say I’m going to wash the dishes or wash the car, if you don’t do it right at that moment, you may forget to do it.  Or you may push off doing it at another time or another day.

Now let’s bring it even closer to home.  How many times have you said you were going to do that special thing for your spouse and ended up not doing it? … not even coming close to doing it.  What’s the reasoning?  Do you purposefully not do it?  I would hope not.  While you have great intentions to do what you said you would do, you just might forget.  Many times this may lead to your significant other getting extremely pissed.

What’s the potential solution to correct this?  If it comes down to it, you may have to start writing it down.  This will allow you to take action on your words and get away from that forgetful mode that we sometimes seem to fall into.

Let me share with you something that I recently did with my wife.  Over 7 years ago, I stood before my wife and recited my vows to her.  Guess what?  I didn’t write them down.  Shortly after our 7^th year of marriage, I decided to write down my vows to my wife.  I wrote them down, typed them out, and then presented them to my wife to ensure we both understood what I am vowing to her.

What has this done for me?  This has given me a tangible document of my words that I can use to make sure I am doing the things I told my wife I will do.  Because I printed the vows out, which now reside in a frame in our bedroom, I can revisit them at any time to review what I promised I would do as a husband.  There’s no need for talking a good game now … I have to take action now. 

While this was something I specifically did in regards to reestablishing my vows to my wife, this same exercise can be done with any portion of your relationship with your spouse.  It can be done for daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly activities.  So go ahead and start writing your words down.  Once you see it on paper, you will be more inclined to take action and get it done.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

Don't Let YOU Open The Door

Ok you're married. Is everything perfect? No. Will things ever be perfect? While you wish they could be, they probably won't be.

The reality is that marriages will always have negative forces coming against it...knocking at the door hoping to come in. Sometimes you can see that negative force approaching the door of your marriage well in advance. However, there may be times when that negative force sneaks up to your marriage door and camps out...waiting for the opportunity to sneak in. I said sneak in, but here's the truth of the matter...it can't sneak in. The only way that negative force can come into your marriage is if you open the door and let it in.

Now let me define what I mean when I say negative force. Negative force is any thing, any person, any thought, any behavior, or any substance that can severely damage or destroy a marriage. The things that fall into these categories are all around and will always be present in the world we live in. A very good book that I am reading mentions that these negative things are always trying to tempt marriages into doing something out of line of the marriage covenant. However, we have a choice in determining if we let these negative things enter our marriage.

Yes, we have a choice...everything we do is based on a choice we make. If you are not communicating properly with your spouse, you are choosing to do so. If you are not loving your spouse the way they should be loved, you are choosing to do so. If you are physically, verbally, or mentally abusing you spouse, you are choosing to do so. If you are doing things not within the realms of your marriage covenant, you are choosing to do so.

If none of these things are present in your marriage, great! Keep it that way by ensuring you have a great rapport with your spouse (talk about everything), love your spouse the way they want to be loved (service, gifts, affection, acknowledgement, time), treat your spouse like the queen or king they are, and don't look for anything or anybody outside of your spouse...everything needs to be fulfilled by and with your spouse.

It must be a team effort to ensure the negative forces don't come in. You have to check all aspects of yourself to make sure YOU're not doing something to crack the door of your marriage which could allow those negative things to enter in. You must remember that all it takes is a crack...that's all the negative force needs. Do what you have to do to ensure your marriage is protected. It's your choice!

KEY TAKEAWAY: Don't let YOU open the door.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

3 Extras for V-Day...NO MONEY DOWN

It's that time of year when you see red everywhere...V-Day aka Valentine's Day. Many have already looked in their bank accounts to see how much money they have to spend on their mate. Some have decided to go big, while others will go lite simply with the card and flowers. And let me say that there is nothing wrong with either...especially coming from the heart.

Now what if you could throw in some extra gifts for free that would truly set things off. Now please notice I said "EXTRA". Don't think I'm trying to say not to buy your mate a gift...unless you know he or she will be okay with that (your judgment call). Here are a few gifts you can give that should cost you only time and some thought.

1. A Love Prayer. Take a few minutes to bow your head with your mate and pray. Make the prayer all about love...love for your mate, love for your relationship, love for your family. Make it all about the two of you and what you share as a couple.

2. A Love Letter. For those that are not comfortable praying aloud, this may be a fit for you. Now I know you can write. Even if you go back to the roses are red and violets are blue, make the rest of it your own. Note: Do NOT type the letter...use a pen and paper.

3. Sex. This is to the women. While men would love to get this every day from wives, there are several days of the year that sex is truly on our list of to-do's. This is one of them. Put the kids to bed early so they are in a deep sleep and close the doors. Then go ahead and make the man in your life happy on this day. That's probably all he wants (no card needed).

There you have it. 3 simple items that hopefully are easy for you to do with your mate. Enjoy the moment...enjoy the atmosphere...enjoy each other.

Look out for more "love made easy" tips in the future.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

Do You Know How To Talk?

When you read the title of this discussion, I know most of you said, "Of course I know how to talk". And I bet many of you can talk with the best of them...probably talking too much. Now let me add three more words to this same question.

Do you know how to talk to your spouse?

Now if you are a prideful person, you may immediately say "YES". For everyone else, this question should cause you to pause, think for a second, and then ask "Do I really know how to talk to my spouse effectively?". I am going to go out on a limb and say that if you are asking yourself this question, you are on the "I want to have a healthy marriage" path. And double this if your spouse is asking this same question.

You should consider being able to speak to your spouse appropriately and effectively as a form of art. You can create a masterpiece of communication, or you can create a mess that neither of you wants to look at. The way you communicate with your spouse should be in a manner they best receive it. To do this, it is a must that you know your spouse... know their mannerisms... know their likes and dislikes ... recognize and understand how your spouse communicates with you ... and even know you spouse's family history (how was he or she raised). With all these factors, you should be able to discern the best way to communicate.

I think many people make the mistake of communicating with their spouse the way they themselves want to be communicated to. BIG mistake. Your spouse is not you. Your spouse does not have the same personality as you ... your spouse did not grow up in your home ... your spouse may not have the same cultural background as you do. You can go on and on identifying ways that make your spouse different than you. The important thing to know is that your spouse has his or her own way they communicate. Find out what it is and adjust your delivery.

Your marriage can get stronger and stronger when you start to master this thing called "communicating effectively". It's also probably one of the toughest things to get good at, let alone master, in your marriage. Just think about it. If you master communicating with your spouse, there will be nothing that you can't accomplish together ... no trial that you can't get through.

If you and your spouse are not talking to each other right now (effectively), take a step back and evaluate yourself first. Do I talk too loud? ... Too soft? ... Too harsh? ... Too calmly? ... Too direct? ... Too bland? Be sure to use the right mix for the appropriate conversation. Your outgoing communication style has to be catered for your spouse ... not you. On the flip side, let your spouse know how you want to be communicated to. Open up your paths for great communication.

Do you know how to talk to your spouse? YES ... and you are getting better.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

The SAFE ... My Security

As I am sure all of you know, being married always has its ups and downs. The challenge is to always have more ups than downs. This most definitely gives you a better chance at having a long lasting marriage. One of the "ups" that should always be present is that of security.

Now the discussion of security within marriage can be dissected into many different areas ... all depending on the point of view you are taking. For our discussion today, I want to look at it from two perspectives ... female view and male view.

On the female side of this, security is all about physical safety ... safety of the body, safety of the family, safety of the home. When a woman marries a man, there is an assurance that the husband is there and will be there to protect. He will be there to stand up against anything or anyone that threatens his wife. If for some reason the husband is not there (figuratively) to protect his wife, the comfort of security a wife needs can be severely damaged.

Guys, this is why we can't half-step when we say "I DO". I don't want to take this into a deep religious discussion, but the Man upstairs is entrusting us to be the "head of household", the "protector of family", the "security blanket" for your wife. Step up and be "THE SAFE" you are called to be.

Now ladies, we husbands need you to be our SAFE also. What do we need protected? Our inner most thoughts and feelings ... our dreams. You all know that we are not the best communicators when it comes to expressing our feelings. So the little we do shed out to you, please protect this information. Please respect this information. Please don't discount this information. If for some reason the wife chooses to de-value our thoughts/feelings/dreams, you can potentially say goodbye to the husband confiding in the wife about certain things. There is the potential the husband will look for another confidant to run his thoughts/feelings/dreams by. Not the route we want things to go.

So ladies, receive the words from your husbands with patience, understanding, and love. Be "THE SAFE" so that he feels secure to tell you any and everything that's on his mind.

Remember, the most secure place is a safe. Be "THE SAFE".

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

I Wonder Are They Married?

So often in today’s society, many couples are choosing to be cohabitants without having the bond of holy matrimony associated with them. In other cases, some married couples are choosing not to wear their wedding rings for one reason or another. I’m not done yet. Some married couples’ interaction with each other, both in public and private settings, cause many to ask… “I wonder are they married?”.

When God brought Adam and Eve together, I am pretty sure they knew they were joined in a union and I bet all the animals knew it also. I can assume they spent a lot of time together and their love for each other showed. As married couples, we need to act like Adam and Eve. We need to be on and around each other (with your spouse) like we are the only two people on earth…joined at the hip physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Why these three areas? Well with the physical part, you need to show your spouse that you love his or her presence close to you…you love the touch, the hold, the kiss, the love. Emotionally, you want to let your spouse know that you feel the happiness or pain that he or she may encounter on a daily basis...you are going through life with them experiencing the ups and downs…you are laughing with them and also crying with them. On the spiritual side, this is the glue that keeps things together. You must be joined here. Even when the other two areas (physical & emotional) are a little shaky, it is your spiritual connection that will keep you together.

Now when you are on point with all three of these areas, I can’t imagine anyone looking at the two of you wondering if you are married. As couples joined in holy matrimony, it is our responsibility to show the world what it means to be married. Show how we enjoy each other and then turn around and show how we make it through the toughest situations in life together.

We need to be a beacon! Shining so that other couples will see and understand that marriage can work with work in your marriage. As we approach 2012, let’s get ready to shine our marriages to the world more than we did in 2011.

So when someone looks at my wife and I and ask the question…”I wonder are they married?”; they will look again and simply say…”Oh yeah, they’re married!”.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

The Plants...Part 2

In “The Plants…Part 1”, I spoke about how it’s important to get rid of the dead leaves in your marriage. This will give your marriage more room to grow in the areas where the “dead leaves” once occupied.

Now there is another interesting situation with house plants that marriages can take notes on. Once the “new leaves” in your potted plant have grown out, what happens when there is no more room in the pot for additional growth? Absolutely nothing happens because there is no room for anything else to grow. That’s where repotting comes in. You have to enlarge the pot so the plant has the additional room to grow larger and produce even more leaves.

In your marriage, you have to analyze your situation with your spouse to determine if you are limiting the growth of your marriage. Maybe you need to repot your marriage in a larger pot.

How do you repot your marriage? The sky is the limit. Maybe you introduce a new activity into your marriage for you and your spouse to do. Maybe you completely switch chores with your spouse. I will never forget when my wife came to me and stated that she was going to cut the grass. Now let me paint the picture here...

My wife is from NYC where grass appears to be limited only to Central Park. Additionally, there have been only a few times when her shoes have been in the grass for more than 5 minutes. Now you can imagine my surprise when she said “Babe, I’m going to cut the grass” and then actually started cutting the grass. Notice I said “started”. She did do most of it and has not touched the lawnmower since that historic day.

Now what did that do for me? It expanded my appreciation for my wife. It also made me think of identifying things that I can do that she normally does. I would like to think that I came up with something but don’t remember (smile).

When it comes to repotting your marriage, you have to expand your heart, expand your love, and expand your mind to consider any and all future possibilities…possibilities to do different things and go different places.

Just be sure to give your marriage the room it needs to grow.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

80 Year Old Love

Trips in the middle of nowhere will show you some of the most interesting things. Early this year, I was on a business trip in Plainville, CT. Yep…a very small city somewhere on the outskirts of Hartford, CT. Upon arriving into the town, I immediately checked into the hotel and headed to a seafood restaurant I read about in the town (the food was awesome and they gave huge portions).

While at this restaurant, I noticed there were a lot of seasoned couples there. And when I say seasoned, I mean 80 to 90 years old seasoned. Seasoned to where it took some of them all of several minutes to walk from their table to the front door as they were leaving. Regardless of how long it took them, it was great seeing these couples enjoying themselves for an evening out on the town. To see the patience they had with each other was humbling. I could only sit there and imagine all the memories they have experienced with each other over the years.

I then began to picture my life with my spouse at the age of +80 years. I wondered what we will look like. I wondered how fast will we glide across the floor of the restaurant at that age. Just picturing that future gave and continues to give me encouragement to make sure my wife and I continue to love each other in ways that will give us the best chance at making our marriage last well into our 80s.

Visualizing your marriage in the future is a great roadmap you can use to chart your marital path. Yes it is a long path when you’re looking 40 to 50 years down the road, but it gives you a long term goal to shoot for…wrinkles and all.

Love hard and love true.
C Wells

The Plants…Part 1

My Mom came to visit about a month ago and you know what Moms like to do when they come visit…find things to clean or straighten up, or correct minor things they feel could be better…without stepping on anyone’s toes (especially the wife’s toes). During her visit, one specific area she felt she could improve was the maintenance of a couple of our house plants. You see, I have had these two plants for about 9 years (yep, they’re still hangin in there). Some of the leaves tend to die off while new ones come in, and unfortunately I don’t always pull the dead leaves out to ensure the new leaves have the proper room to grow. Well, my mom took the time to pull out and cut all the dead leaves; giving the plants more freedom to produce new leaves and it gave both plants a much better appearance.


In marriage, there are a lot of different things, like the dead plant leaves, that occupy space and time that hinder a marriage from growing. And guess what? We are all too busy/not concerned enough to pull and cut those things out of our marriage. Like the dead leaves, these items can have a huge impact on your marriage if they are just left there to occupy critical space and time.

What are these things…these dead leaves that sit untouched in your marriage? It could be anything. Maybe it’s a long lasting disagreement you and your spouse had about something that was never fully resolved. Maybe it’s a financial situation you are in that you both choose to ignore. It could be anything that has the potential to cause a riff in your marriage. Whatever it is, if left untouched, it will continue to occupy valuable space in your marriage…taking up an area that is eagerly waiting to experience something new that will enhance the look and growth of your marriage.

Just as my mom did, you need to take the time out of your busy schedules to focus on pulling & cutting the dead leaves in your marriage. As you do this, sit back and watch the new leaves grow into your marriage.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

C Wells

Love The One You Love

Relationships are tough. Sometimes they are so tough you just want to throw in the tile. But you know, that may not be the right choice. So what do you do then?

Maybe since I’m miserable, I might as well make it miserable for everyone around me also. Yeah, I know, this is my spouse and I shouldn’t try to make a tough situation even worse by dogging out my spouse or just trying to do things to make my spouse feel bad. Hold up! Is it not my spouse that got us in this mess? Since my spouse is the closest person to me each day, doesn’t it make sense to take whatever frustration I have out on my spouse? Look, I’m not talking about any type of physical abuse. I just want to see or feel my spouse feeling bad or be in a bad mood because I’m in a bad mood. We both need to share in this pain. You feel me?

Ok, I’m back. I had to get that out to show just how ridiculous it is to treat the one you love like you despise him or her. No matter what type of situation you may be going through in your relationship, please remember that you love the person sitting on the other side of the relationship. Because of that, you need to love the one you love. If the two of you truly love each other, it is going to be that love that gets you through the tough times you will face in your life and in your relationship. Learn to lean on each other through the situations so that your love can mature. This maturity will allow you to always love the one you love no matter what your relationship is faced with.

Love hard and love true.

Let me know your thoughts.

C Wells

LOOK Like You Want It

What did you do when you first laid eyes on your spouse? For the women, you probably just played it off as though you didn’t see him. For the men, you probably looked and continued to look until you got some type of return look from her. To this day my wife claims she caught me looking at her butt in church…saying that she could feel some eyes burning into her backside. Well…

How did you look at your spouse on your wedding day as you both stood looking into each other’s eyes? Was it a look of “I’m ready to tear your clothes off rite now” or maybe “I’m ready to start this loving journey with you and no one else”? Regardless of the meaning behind the look, I’m sure it was a look of “want” and “need” of the other person. It was a look to get your spouse’s attention…to let them know that they mean something to you.

As couples, we must continually show that we want and desire each other by looking at them in a manner that says “you are the love of my life and I want you”. Regardless of whether your spouse needs these consistent looks, it will let them know subconsciously that my spouse wants me.

What are the pros for giving “THE LOOK”?

1.Pro: Your spouse will know you desire them
2.Pro: Your spouse will have alluring thoughts of you being a promiscuous lover…which in my eyes is always a good thing in a relationship

What are the cons for not giving “THE LOOK”?

1.Con: There is no physical interest being shown to your spouse
2.Con: Due to lack of physical interest being shown, someone else might catch your spouse’s eye when they realize someone is checking them out

The 2nd Con is the last thing that any relationship needs entering it. You have to do what you have to do and make sure your spouse feels the needed desire.

So the next time you see your spouse, look at them like they are the only other person on the planet with you and you just found them after 1 year of searching the earth. See what the reaction is to “THE LOOK”.

Let us know your thoughts.

What 7 Year Itch?

There is a saying out there that every marriage goes through a 7 year itch during the 7th year of marriage. I have always wondered what is the “itch” that some people supposedly encounter during this time. Is it an itch to be with someone else romantically? Is it an itch to have companionship with someone else? Is it an itch of being tired of looking at that same face every day and every night over the past 7 years? Or is it just a myth?

I always wondered if I was going to have a 7 year itch and if I were to have one, what was it going to be. Was I going to fall into some type of trance which would lead me off in a path of destruction to my marriage? Or would I sail through the 7 year mark unscathed of any negative traps that supposedly arise during this critical year of marriage?

I had to dig a little deeper into this one; so I asked my wife directly what she thought about the 7 year itch. She threw something at me that made complete sense. She stated that the 7 year itch doesn’t necessarily have to involve actions or feelings external of a marriage. It could simply be the need for internal adjustments within the marriage. Let me explain. By now, a married couple should know each other very well. With that, many monthly, weekly, and even daily activities run like clockwork…especially if you have kids which require some form of standardization with daily routines. Unfortunately, when something is done over and over and over again, you now have a recurring cycle. Eventually portions of that recurring cycle may honestly get boring.

What’s the catch here? The catch is that you have to catch this situation before it gets out of hand and before the marriage falls into a boring lapse of stagnation. If left unnoticed, that internal need for adjustment could potentially lead down the wrong path…the opening of the front door leading to the outside.

Well, my wife and I made it to our 7th year of marriage this year and we are supposedly now in that critical year of our life together. I can honestly say that no thoughts have come over me to leave my wife or step out on my wife or do anything that will dishonor my wife or marriage. Now with that being said, we consistently realize that we must keep things interesting in our marriage…keeping the surprises coming at each other…while at the same time maintaining the consistent scheduling of 3 kids. Is everything perfect? Heck no. But are we working towards perfection? I like to think that we are trying :)

All in all, I would say there is a 7 year itch only if you create it. My suggestion…don’t create it. Love your spouse in as many different ways possible…keeping things interesting and exciting.

Let me know your thoughts.

Take care and be blessed,
C Wells

Is It "Air Tight"?

As I was traveling back from Mississippi to Atlanta this past weekend on I-20, I ran up on the back end of a heavy rain storm…and the rain was coming down to the point of only 30 to 40 yards of visibility sitting in front of me. As I traveled along listening to some old school Lauryn Hill, I felt a big drop of water hit my left arm by the door. First thing to pop into my head was “What the ….?” ( I thought it…didn’t say it). I immediately started feeling around the top seal of the window and door checking for a gap, or an opening, or even a wet spot to determine where the water came from. I even checked over my head around the sunroof. I found nothing. I pressed the window button (close) to see if I could hear some movement in the window to confirm the window was cracked a little…there was no movement. It appeared that all windows and sunroof were closed completely. At that point, I asked myself, “How did that drop of water get in the truck?”. At that moment, God schooled me on something.

There I was in my vehicle with all the windows closed. The many raindrops were hitting the vehicle as though they were trying to get inside the vehicle to consume me, but the vehicle was protecting me from the raindrops. Then the relationship with my wife and family popped into my head. There are so many negative items that try to attack us each day, whether spiritual, mental, or physical. With so many negative things of the world attacking relationships these days, we must have something/someone to protect us so that our marriages are not infiltrated. For me, I realize that protector is God. He is that vehicle that you can comfortably sit in and be protected from everything that is trying to get at/in your relationship with your spouse.

Ask yourself what negative activities/people/feelings are trying to plant themselves in your marriage. Once you identify them, ask for God’s protection against them for your relationship. I find that He is the best option leading to an “Air Tight” relationship. Note that I said “leading to” in that statement. While God is perfect, we as humans are not. Therefore, there is no guarantee that a “raindrop” won’t fall on your marriage; but with God’s protection from all the other “raindrops”, you can easily wipe those few negative “raindrops” off and enjoy the positive aspects of marriage with your spouse.

Just remember, God is your best option to ensure you have an “Air Tight” marriage. Use Him!

Let me know your thoughts.

Take care and be blessed.

Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone

The Dream Team

To be married is to be part of a team. As a married couple, you should have a purpose and that purpose should be something that you provide to the world.

You can see how some married couples operate as teams when you see them as pastors of a church, as owners of a family business, or as coaches of sports teams.

While those are more public examples, there are some couples that make up great teams without public attention. These are the couples that love offering hospitality to others…couples that offer a listening ear to those that need to express their feelings…couples that provide encouragement to others…and even couples that provide a nurturing environment to raise children.

There are so many purposes that a marriage can have. As you move forward in your marriage, take the time to think about how you and your spouse work together as a team…within your family, within your house, within your relationships with friends, within your spiritual activities, and most important within your walk with God.

I think every couple should strive to show the world what it truly means to be married. We should be a beacon for why God created marriage…a family representation of God. Let’s do our part and make it happen.

Let me know your thoughts.

Take care and be blessed.

Anniversary Celebrations

I just reached another milestone in my life. As of this past Thursday, 6 March 2008, my wife and I have been married for 4 years. I know you may say that it's only 4 years, but it is another year and that should be considered a milestone and a success. We should always look at each year of our marriage as a success, whether it be 2 years or 40 years of marriage. With so many divorces consistently taking place in our society, we need to celebrate each year so that we can look forward to the next year's celebration.

I have been trying to think of a way to celebrate anniversaries so that we all can show people that marriages do work and that marriage is a gift from God. The idea that I came up with to start this anniversary celebration movement is to have a picture slideshow on this blog site of married couples along with the number of years they have been married. I think that alone will serve as a little inspiration to keep things going...or at least I hope so. With that being said, I need you to send me a nice picture of you and your spouse and let me know how many years you have been married and your anniversary date. If you feel that is too much information, then just send me the picture and I will work to get it celebrated. Please send your pictures to cedricwells7@gmail.com .

Thanks in advance for the celebration.

Be blessed and talk to you soon

"What Do I See In My Spouse?"

Hmmm?...Is this a trick question?...What do I see in my Spouse?


As i pondered this question today, many thoughts popped into my head. My initial thought was "a beautiful, fine woman"...which is very true. But then I thought about the question again..."what do i see IN my spouse?". To truly answer this question, I have to look not only at the external attributes of my wife, but also look at the internal attributes as well...the mental, the spiritual, the heart. I am happy to say that in my spouse, I see a true woman with a lot of heart and passion for life, a passion to help people when they are in need, a compasionate person, and a woman with enough spunk to fill several 40 gallon drums. I also see a woman with dreams and I see the determination in her to make her dreams a reality. All of this from a city girl from Brooklyn, NY.


These are the items that truly matter the most to me when it comes to me loving my wife. I won't sit here and lie, the external attributes are important and I thank God for allowing me to find my wife. Hey, I am a man and like every other man in this world...we are a "visual" species. Nonetheless, as a man, I could not, cannot, and will not base the love for my wife on the external features I see. None of us should. There are no guarantees that the external features will last...matter of fact, it's only a matter of time before those external features fade away, or let me say that the external features will become "wise" (as we all get older in age). Even though the external features will change over time, the internal attributes within all of us can remain the same 40 or 50 years later in life. I feel this is the importance of knowing what you see IN your spouse and ensuring that you love what you see IN your spouse; so that when the two of you are 75 years old, you are still in love with each other just as much as when you were 30 years old. I know that my wife will still have the same vigor and spunkness for life when we are old and gray; and that will continue to drive my love for her.


"What do I see in my spouse?" is an evolving question. While you see some great things in your spouse right now, you may be seeing a small fraction of what's on the inside of your spouse. As years of love and enjoyment of each other go by, you will likely see more and more of the internal attributes that make up your spouse...some good and maybe some bad. Whatever it may be, the sharing of these attributes between the two of you is what will make your marriage stronger and more meaningful.

I sometimes look at my wife (she would say that I stare) and she always ask with her Brooklyn attitude "what are you looking at?". I kindly respond with a "nothing". Many times I am looking at her to see what I see in her; and I am not saying that in a negative way. I am trying to learn more about my wife; I guess I am studying her, searching for more information on how my wife ticks, trying to analyze her. I must say that my wife is a complex person, as I am sure we all are. It is my enjoyment in knowing that I will continue to learn more and see more in my wife as the years go by in our marriage. We should all take comfort in knowing that we will learn and see more in our spouse as the years go by, therefore keeping the excitement and interest in the marriage.


I anticipate that when my wife and I are in our 70's and I ask myself "what do i see in my spouse", the answer will be "I See Myself", because we will have grown into one unified being as a married couple.


Be blessed and talk to you later.

Purpose of "Our Happy Marriage"

I would like to welcome you to my blog. The purpose of this blog is to educate, motivate, encourage, and inspire marriages around the world. In today's world, marriages are faced with many challenges...no communication, no intimacy, wide-spread adultery, and even divorce. I want to highlight the positives within marriage. While we all know that no one is perfect, and no marriage is perfect; we can all strive to have as close to a perfect marriage as possible.


As we start this communication journey together, I plan to discuss topics that weight heavy on my mind and heart; and I also would like to discuss items that you may have on your mind and heart. I want this to be an open forum that all can benefit from; regardless of your race, religion, age, or number of years of marriage. Please share your experiences and state how the good and bad experiences have made your marriage stronger. Your good or bad experience may be just the thing that someone else reading it needs to make it through...to make their marriage work. This is my purpose.


Please feel free to post comments on topics that you would like to discuss and we can add it to the topics listing for discussion. When posting your comments, if you would say what state or country you are from, it would be greatly appreciated.


Let's have some fun and let's show the world that we have strong marriages.


Talk to you soon!