"What Do I See In My Spouse?"

Hmmm?...Is this a trick question?...What do I see in my Spouse?


As i pondered this question today, many thoughts popped into my head. My initial thought was "a beautiful, fine woman"...which is very true. But then I thought about the question again..."what do i see IN my spouse?". To truly answer this question, I have to look not only at the external attributes of my wife, but also look at the internal attributes as well...the mental, the spiritual, the heart. I am happy to say that in my spouse, I see a true woman with a lot of heart and passion for life, a passion to help people when they are in need, a compasionate person, and a woman with enough spunk to fill several 40 gallon drums. I also see a woman with dreams and I see the determination in her to make her dreams a reality. All of this from a city girl from Brooklyn, NY.


These are the items that truly matter the most to me when it comes to me loving my wife. I won't sit here and lie, the external attributes are important and I thank God for allowing me to find my wife. Hey, I am a man and like every other man in this world...we are a "visual" species. Nonetheless, as a man, I could not, cannot, and will not base the love for my wife on the external features I see. None of us should. There are no guarantees that the external features will last...matter of fact, it's only a matter of time before those external features fade away, or let me say that the external features will become "wise" (as we all get older in age). Even though the external features will change over time, the internal attributes within all of us can remain the same 40 or 50 years later in life. I feel this is the importance of knowing what you see IN your spouse and ensuring that you love what you see IN your spouse; so that when the two of you are 75 years old, you are still in love with each other just as much as when you were 30 years old. I know that my wife will still have the same vigor and spunkness for life when we are old and gray; and that will continue to drive my love for her.


"What do I see in my spouse?" is an evolving question. While you see some great things in your spouse right now, you may be seeing a small fraction of what's on the inside of your spouse. As years of love and enjoyment of each other go by, you will likely see more and more of the internal attributes that make up your spouse...some good and maybe some bad. Whatever it may be, the sharing of these attributes between the two of you is what will make your marriage stronger and more meaningful.

I sometimes look at my wife (she would say that I stare) and she always ask with her Brooklyn attitude "what are you looking at?". I kindly respond with a "nothing". Many times I am looking at her to see what I see in her; and I am not saying that in a negative way. I am trying to learn more about my wife; I guess I am studying her, searching for more information on how my wife ticks, trying to analyze her. I must say that my wife is a complex person, as I am sure we all are. It is my enjoyment in knowing that I will continue to learn more and see more in my wife as the years go by in our marriage. We should all take comfort in knowing that we will learn and see more in our spouse as the years go by, therefore keeping the excitement and interest in the marriage.


I anticipate that when my wife and I are in our 70's and I ask myself "what do i see in my spouse", the answer will be "I See Myself", because we will have grown into one unified being as a married couple.


Be blessed and talk to you later.