Relationships are tough. Sometimes they are so tough you just want to throw in the tile. But you know, that may not be the right choice. So what do you do then?
Maybe since I’m miserable, I might as well make it miserable for everyone around me also. Yeah, I know, this is my spouse and I shouldn’t try to make a tough situation even worse by dogging out my spouse or just trying to do things to make my spouse feel bad. Hold up! Is it not my spouse that got us in this mess? Since my spouse is the closest person to me each day, doesn’t it make sense to take whatever frustration I have out on my spouse? Look, I’m not talking about any type of physical abuse. I just want to see or feel my spouse feeling bad or be in a bad mood because I’m in a bad mood. We both need to share in this pain. You feel me?
Ok, I’m back. I had to get that out to show just how ridiculous it is to treat the one you love like you despise him or her. No matter what type of situation you may be going through in your relationship, please remember that you love the person sitting on the other side of the relationship. Because of that, you need to love the one you love. If the two of you truly love each other, it is going to be that love that gets you through the tough times you will face in your life and in your relationship. Learn to lean on each other through the situations so that your love can mature. This maturity will allow you to always love the one you love no matter what your relationship is faced with.
Love hard and love true.
Let me know your thoughts.
C Wells
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
LOOK Like You Want It
What did you do when you first laid eyes on your spouse? For the women, you probably just played it off as though you didn’t see him. For the men, you probably looked and continued to look until you got some type of return look from her. To this day my wife claims she caught me looking at her butt in church…saying that she could feel some eyes burning into her backside. Well…
How did you look at your spouse on your wedding day as you both stood looking into each other’s eyes? Was it a look of “I’m ready to tear your clothes off rite now” or maybe “I’m ready to start this loving journey with you and no one else”? Regardless of the meaning behind the look, I’m sure it was a look of “want” and “need” of the other person. It was a look to get your spouse’s attention…to let them know that they mean something to you.
As couples, we must continually show that we want and desire each other by looking at them in a manner that says “you are the love of my life and I want you”. Regardless of whether your spouse needs these consistent looks, it will let them know subconsciously that my spouse wants me.
What are the pros for giving “THE LOOK”?
1.Pro: Your spouse will know you desire them
2.Pro: Your spouse will have alluring thoughts of you being a promiscuous lover…which in my eyes is always a good thing in a relationship
What are the cons for not giving “THE LOOK”?
1.Con: There is no physical interest being shown to your spouse
2.Con: Due to lack of physical interest being shown, someone else might catch your spouse’s eye when they realize someone is checking them out
The 2nd Con is the last thing that any relationship needs entering it. You have to do what you have to do and make sure your spouse feels the needed desire.
So the next time you see your spouse, look at them like they are the only other person on the planet with you and you just found them after 1 year of searching the earth. See what the reaction is to “THE LOOK”.
Let us know your thoughts.
How did you look at your spouse on your wedding day as you both stood looking into each other’s eyes? Was it a look of “I’m ready to tear your clothes off rite now” or maybe “I’m ready to start this loving journey with you and no one else”? Regardless of the meaning behind the look, I’m sure it was a look of “want” and “need” of the other person. It was a look to get your spouse’s attention…to let them know that they mean something to you.
As couples, we must continually show that we want and desire each other by looking at them in a manner that says “you are the love of my life and I want you”. Regardless of whether your spouse needs these consistent looks, it will let them know subconsciously that my spouse wants me.
What are the pros for giving “THE LOOK”?
1.Pro: Your spouse will know you desire them
2.Pro: Your spouse will have alluring thoughts of you being a promiscuous lover…which in my eyes is always a good thing in a relationship
What are the cons for not giving “THE LOOK”?
1.Con: There is no physical interest being shown to your spouse
2.Con: Due to lack of physical interest being shown, someone else might catch your spouse’s eye when they realize someone is checking them out
The 2nd Con is the last thing that any relationship needs entering it. You have to do what you have to do and make sure your spouse feels the needed desire.
So the next time you see your spouse, look at them like they are the only other person on the planet with you and you just found them after 1 year of searching the earth. See what the reaction is to “THE LOOK”.
Let us know your thoughts.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
What 7 Year Itch?
There is a saying out there that every marriage goes through a 7 year itch during the 7th year of marriage. I have always wondered what is the “itch” that some people supposedly encounter during this time. Is it an itch to be with someone else romantically? Is it an itch to have companionship with someone else? Is it an itch of being tired of looking at that same face every day and every night over the past 7 years? Or is it just a myth?
I always wondered if I was going to have a 7 year itch and if I were to have one, what was it going to be. Was I going to fall into some type of trance which would lead me off in a path of destruction to my marriage? Or would I sail through the 7 year mark unscathed of any negative traps that supposedly arise during this critical year of marriage?
I had to dig a little deeper into this one; so I asked my wife directly what she thought about the 7 year itch. She threw something at me that made complete sense. She stated that the 7 year itch doesn’t necessarily have to involve actions or feelings external of a marriage. It could simply be the need for internal adjustments within the marriage. Let me explain. By now, a married couple should know each other very well. With that, many monthly, weekly, and even daily activities run like clockwork…especially if you have kids which require some form of standardization with daily routines. Unfortunately, when something is done over and over and over again, you now have a recurring cycle. Eventually portions of that recurring cycle may honestly get boring.
What’s the catch here? The catch is that you have to catch this situation before it gets out of hand and before the marriage falls into a boring lapse of stagnation. If left unnoticed, that internal need for adjustment could potentially lead down the wrong path…the opening of the front door leading to the outside.
Well, my wife and I made it to our 7th year of marriage this year and we are supposedly now in that critical year of our life together. I can honestly say that no thoughts have come over me to leave my wife or step out on my wife or do anything that will dishonor my wife or marriage. Now with that being said, we consistently realize that we must keep things interesting in our marriage…keeping the surprises coming at each other…while at the same time maintaining the consistent scheduling of 3 kids. Is everything perfect? Heck no. But are we working towards perfection? I like to think that we are trying :)
All in all, I would say there is a 7 year itch only if you create it. My suggestion…don’t create it. Love your spouse in as many different ways possible…keeping things interesting and exciting.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed,
C Wells
I always wondered if I was going to have a 7 year itch and if I were to have one, what was it going to be. Was I going to fall into some type of trance which would lead me off in a path of destruction to my marriage? Or would I sail through the 7 year mark unscathed of any negative traps that supposedly arise during this critical year of marriage?
I had to dig a little deeper into this one; so I asked my wife directly what she thought about the 7 year itch. She threw something at me that made complete sense. She stated that the 7 year itch doesn’t necessarily have to involve actions or feelings external of a marriage. It could simply be the need for internal adjustments within the marriage. Let me explain. By now, a married couple should know each other very well. With that, many monthly, weekly, and even daily activities run like clockwork…especially if you have kids which require some form of standardization with daily routines. Unfortunately, when something is done over and over and over again, you now have a recurring cycle. Eventually portions of that recurring cycle may honestly get boring.
What’s the catch here? The catch is that you have to catch this situation before it gets out of hand and before the marriage falls into a boring lapse of stagnation. If left unnoticed, that internal need for adjustment could potentially lead down the wrong path…the opening of the front door leading to the outside.
Well, my wife and I made it to our 7th year of marriage this year and we are supposedly now in that critical year of our life together. I can honestly say that no thoughts have come over me to leave my wife or step out on my wife or do anything that will dishonor my wife or marriage. Now with that being said, we consistently realize that we must keep things interesting in our marriage…keeping the surprises coming at each other…while at the same time maintaining the consistent scheduling of 3 kids. Is everything perfect? Heck no. But are we working towards perfection? I like to think that we are trying :)
All in all, I would say there is a 7 year itch only if you create it. My suggestion…don’t create it. Love your spouse in as many different ways possible…keeping things interesting and exciting.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed,
C Wells
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Is It "Air Tight"?
As I was traveling back from Mississippi to Atlanta this past weekend on I-20, I ran up on the back end of a heavy rain storm…and the rain was coming down to the point of only 30 to 40 yards of visibility sitting in front of me. As I traveled along listening to some old school Lauryn Hill, I felt a big drop of water hit my left arm by the door. First thing to pop into my head was “What the ….?” ( I thought it…didn’t say it). I immediately started feeling around the top seal of the window and door checking for a gap, or an opening, or even a wet spot to determine where the water came from. I even checked over my head around the sunroof. I found nothing. I pressed the window button (close) to see if I could hear some movement in the window to confirm the window was cracked a little…there was no movement. It appeared that all windows and sunroof were closed completely. At that point, I asked myself, “How did that drop of water get in the truck?”. At that moment, God schooled me on something.
There I was in my vehicle with all the windows closed. The many raindrops were hitting the vehicle as though they were trying to get inside the vehicle to consume me, but the vehicle was protecting me from the raindrops. Then the relationship with my wife and family popped into my head. There are so many negative items that try to attack us each day, whether spiritual, mental, or physical. With so many negative things of the world attacking relationships these days, we must have something/someone to protect us so that our marriages are not infiltrated. For me, I realize that protector is God. He is that vehicle that you can comfortably sit in and be protected from everything that is trying to get at/in your relationship with your spouse.
Ask yourself what negative activities/people/feelings are trying to plant themselves in your marriage. Once you identify them, ask for God’s protection against them for your relationship. I find that He is the best option leading to an “Air Tight” relationship. Note that I said “leading to” in that statement. While God is perfect, we as humans are not. Therefore, there is no guarantee that a “raindrop” won’t fall on your marriage; but with God’s protection from all the other “raindrops”, you can easily wipe those few negative “raindrops” off and enjoy the positive aspects of marriage with your spouse.
Just remember, God is your best option to ensure you have an “Air Tight” marriage. Use Him!
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
There I was in my vehicle with all the windows closed. The many raindrops were hitting the vehicle as though they were trying to get inside the vehicle to consume me, but the vehicle was protecting me from the raindrops. Then the relationship with my wife and family popped into my head. There are so many negative items that try to attack us each day, whether spiritual, mental, or physical. With so many negative things of the world attacking relationships these days, we must have something/someone to protect us so that our marriages are not infiltrated. For me, I realize that protector is God. He is that vehicle that you can comfortably sit in and be protected from everything that is trying to get at/in your relationship with your spouse.
Ask yourself what negative activities/people/feelings are trying to plant themselves in your marriage. Once you identify them, ask for God’s protection against them for your relationship. I find that He is the best option leading to an “Air Tight” relationship. Note that I said “leading to” in that statement. While God is perfect, we as humans are not. Therefore, there is no guarantee that a “raindrop” won’t fall on your marriage; but with God’s protection from all the other “raindrops”, you can easily wipe those few negative “raindrops” off and enjoy the positive aspects of marriage with your spouse.
Just remember, God is your best option to ensure you have an “Air Tight” marriage. Use Him!
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
WHAT IS YOUR MEASURE OF SUCCESS?...
The question that I ask myself is..."What do I want to be remembered for?". My answer to this question has become my lifelong measure of success. When I first dug into this question, I jotted down many things ranging from "remembered for creating meaningful and beautiful art" and "remembered for being fair and just in my business practices". I do feel these are very important in my life, but they were not in my Top 3.
My Top 3 "What do I want to be remembered for?" or my "Measure of Success" are:
1. I am known as a great husband, father, grandfather (one day in the distant future), and friend.
2. I tried helping people on a global scale
3. I showed the world I was a man of God by living a Godly life
Going forward, try to periodically ask yourself what do you want to be remembered for when you leave this life on earth. Answering this question honestly will put things in perspective and may cause you to make adjustments in your life to allow yourself to reach that level of success that you truly want to be remembered for. Reaching this won't come over night, but it will put you on a journey that will be full of many success stories along the way.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
My Top 3 "What do I want to be remembered for?" or my "Measure of Success" are:
1. I am known as a great husband, father, grandfather (one day in the distant future), and friend.
2. I tried helping people on a global scale
3. I showed the world I was a man of God by living a Godly life
Going forward, try to periodically ask yourself what do you want to be remembered for when you leave this life on earth. Answering this question honestly will put things in perspective and may cause you to make adjustments in your life to allow yourself to reach that level of success that you truly want to be remembered for. Reaching this won't come over night, but it will put you on a journey that will be full of many success stories along the way.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Don't Discount Your Marriage
How often do you notice situations in a family member or a friend’s marriage that you feel you can provide advice on? Or, what about when a friend or family member approaches you or your spouse asking for marital advise. And what if this comes from a couple which has been married 5 or 8 years longer than you have? Do you feel under-qualified attempting to give advice to the couple? Do you say to yourself, what advice can I give since I have only been married for “a single digit number” of years?
I admit, I have told myself this a number of times over the years. However, over the years I have come to realize that every couple, new and old, has a story to tell that could help another couple learn something new and grow within their marriage. Now there may be some situations where you know you can’t provide advice from experience on. Nonetheless, when you encounter an opportunity to provide beneficial advice on situations that you and your spouse went through, don’t hesitate telling your story.
Even if you are currently in the trenches with your marriage, you should still be willing to tell your story to a friend or family member that may be headed down the same path. Your candidness may be just what another couple needs to make it through the situation within their marriage.
Just remember that no marriage is perfect; however, don’t discount your marriage when an opportunity arises to help another married couple with advice. Don’t be intimidated by older married couples. Learn from them and also be willing to teach them. Your daily actions alone may be one of the most powerful tools you can use to give advice to other married couples. Just be sure to recognize the fullness of your marriage and give 100%.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
I admit, I have told myself this a number of times over the years. However, over the years I have come to realize that every couple, new and old, has a story to tell that could help another couple learn something new and grow within their marriage. Now there may be some situations where you know you can’t provide advice from experience on. Nonetheless, when you encounter an opportunity to provide beneficial advice on situations that you and your spouse went through, don’t hesitate telling your story.
Even if you are currently in the trenches with your marriage, you should still be willing to tell your story to a friend or family member that may be headed down the same path. Your candidness may be just what another couple needs to make it through the situation within their marriage.
Just remember that no marriage is perfect; however, don’t discount your marriage when an opportunity arises to help another married couple with advice. Don’t be intimidated by older married couples. Learn from them and also be willing to teach them. Your daily actions alone may be one of the most powerful tools you can use to give advice to other married couples. Just be sure to recognize the fullness of your marriage and give 100%.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Dream Team
To be married is to be part of a team. As a married couple, you should have a purpose and that purpose should be something that you provide to the world.
You can see how some married couples operate as teams when you see them as pastors of a church, as owners of a family business, or as coaches of sports teams.
While those are more public examples, there are some couples that make up great teams without public attention. These are the couples that love offering hospitality to others…couples that offer a listening ear to those that need to express their feelings…couples that provide encouragement to others…and even couples that provide a nurturing environment to raise children.
There are so many purposes that a marriage can have. As you move forward in your marriage, take the time to think about how you and your spouse work together as a team…within your family, within your house, within your relationships with friends, within your spiritual activities, and most important within your walk with God.
I think every couple should strive to show the world what it truly means to be married. We should be a beacon for why God created marriage…a family representation of God. Let’s do our part and make it happen.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
You can see how some married couples operate as teams when you see them as pastors of a church, as owners of a family business, or as coaches of sports teams.
While those are more public examples, there are some couples that make up great teams without public attention. These are the couples that love offering hospitality to others…couples that offer a listening ear to those that need to express their feelings…couples that provide encouragement to others…and even couples that provide a nurturing environment to raise children.
There are so many purposes that a marriage can have. As you move forward in your marriage, take the time to think about how you and your spouse work together as a team…within your family, within your house, within your relationships with friends, within your spiritual activities, and most important within your walk with God.
I think every couple should strive to show the world what it truly means to be married. We should be a beacon for why God created marriage…a family representation of God. Let’s do our part and make it happen.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
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