Do you think you know all there is to know about being a great husband or being a great wife? If so, please sit down and write out that manual and sell the first copy to me. I don’t think there is anyone living that can rightfully say that they know everything there is to know on being a great spouse. With that being said, every couple in a marriage should be permanently enrolled in the school of marriage. Simply put, couples must strive to learn how to be a better spouse. I would guess that this learning process continues until you leave this earth.
How do you learn to be a better spouse? Well, I can give you my thoughts on that question…and please know that these items are ideas that I follow or that I am trying to follow in becoming a better spouse.
1. Pray. (a) Pray for answers to the many questions that come up in your marriage. Pray for understanding of what marriage is and what marriage is for. Pray for the purpose of your marriage. Pray for increased wisdom within your marriage. Pray for improvements within yourself before praying for improvements within your spouse. Pray for any and everything that you can think of that will improve your marriage. An open relationship with God will allow Him to reveal many of the answers that you will need to improve your marriage and become a better spouse to your significant other. (b) Pray with your spouse. This may be one of the most intimate activities you can have with your spouse. Praying with your spouse may also be one of the most challenging for some…especially if you don’t have a solid personal prayer life established. If you are not completely comfortable with this, make it an extremely short prayer. Take your spouse by the hands and quickly say “Thank you Lord for my spouse and my marriage!” Leave it at that and then make it longer next time.
2. Learn from daily experiences. You and your spouse will go through something each day that may or may not challenge your marriage. It may be small or it may be something big. Regardless of the size of the event, you should make every effort to learn from the event to ensure that you handle the situation better the next time around.
3. Learn from other married couples’ experiences. If possible, it is great to learn from others’ experiences so that you can avoid going through a stressful situation. If you encounter a couple going through a negative period in their marriage, it would be wise to learn from their negative situation so that you don’t go through that same situation in the future. On the positive side, be sure to learn as much as you can from couples that have positive periods occurring in their marriages.
4. Read. While there is nothing better than on-the-job-training, there are many books, articles, and other media that offer very good advice on many marital subjects. One of the best books that give precise instructions on how to have a successful marriage is the Holy Bible. There are specific instructions on how a husband should treat his wife and instructions on how a wife should treat her husband. This book is filled with many accounts of marriages that you can read about and learn from. Additionally, there are other books written by today’s authors that give good insight on maintaining a healthy and loving marriage.
When you said “I DO”, a commitment was made to love your spouse forever. A commitment also should have been made to be the best spouse possible. How do engineers become great engineers?...how do doctors become great doctors?...they go to school to learn the skills to be a great engineer and doctor. When you get married, you become a spouse…something that you have never been before. What are you going to do to learn how to become a great spouse? GO TO SCHOOL!
Let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
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3 comments:
Wow!!! I really like reading your blog. I must agree that Pray is the first and most important thing you can do in a marriage. We were not made to have perfect lives or marriages. I am thankful to God that we have him to go to when we don't understand things. I have an Aunt and Uncle that have been married for 52 years and the one advice they have given us that I will keep is that you continue to learn a person everyday and every minute. My Aunt said that she is still learning her husband daily after 52 years. I am convinced that it takes Pray and alot of working on yourself as an individual. You can not expect your spouse to do something or be a way that you are not praticing yourself.
I also agree that viewing other people marriages is a good way to avoid certain things in your own. But don't follow their bad habits because sometimes what may be good for there marriage may not be good for your own.
Applying what you learn is also the key.
Keep up the good work with the blog!!! I enjoy it.
Kristie, thanks for the solid feedback. I will do my best to continue putting out good info...as I receive it, I will give it. Thanks!
This subject really spoke to me and was right on time. These are all principles that I have been told and are things I strongly believe in, but sometimes we need a reminder.
My husband and I just recently celerated our 1st Anniversary. We have both been married before and knew coming in that with marriage comes struggles and hard work, but this was a very tough year for both of us. I recently decided that instead of always pointing out my husbands faults that I would work hard on working on me. I have a habit of being very opinionated and it's taking a lot of practice, but I am getting better everyday. Practice makes perfect. I am noticing that when I go to my father in heaven about the issues that are near and dear to my heart I don't have to say a word to my husband especially for those things that are ligitimate and things that aren't right. Sometimes it takes God to make a real change in the spouse, all you are going to do is throw salt in the wound and make things worse, but with prayer and worship you can and will get through it.
Loving my spouse through his shortcomings is the most challenging thing of all but it is what I would want him to do for me, so who am I not to give it to him, even through the painful experiences we have endured.
Thanks for your dedication to this site. Your words are very helpful. May you and your wife walk in peace and blessings my brother.
Mrs. Determined to make it
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