I quickly want to share my good news on this blog. With marriage, some couples choose to grow their family while others choose not to. Well, I just want to say that my wife and I will be growing our family by one. Sometime next summer, a new blessing will be added to the Wells' household.
I anticipate the next 7 or 8 months being another interesting journey. I know there is a lot to be learned during this process...as it was during the other pregnancy 4 years ago. I look forward to whatever comes...especially the daily husband to-do-list :(
That's all. Just wanted to share my news.
Take care and talk to you soon.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Touch Me, Speak To Me....Only in Love
A week or so ago I received some very disturbing news. One of my former co-workers committed suicide. When I heard the news, my mind immediately raced to figure out why this beautiful young lady would take her life. My memories of her only include her smiles and that she was extremely active and spirited. I could not think of anything that would give her an inkling of taking her life. I was then told that her parents requested that no gifts or flowers be sent on her behalf, but they did have a request for donations. Her parents requested that donations be sent to a shelter for battered women. Yeah, I couldn't believe either. That was the last thing that would have cross my mind...and it still didn't.
Simply put, as a married couple, neither the husband nor wife should ever put his or her hands (or any object) on the other in anger. Why would you have to? We should all have enough self control to refrain from such behavior. We should have enough sense to walk away from the situation if needed. It's not about being "The Man" or being "Miss Independent Woman"...it's about being a man and woman of God.
Now you may be saying that women don't do anything to abuse men; and I guess that may be true most of the time with physical abuse. However, there are other types of abuse that women may be the culprit of...along with men. The Mouth/Tongue. The Bible says in James 3:5 "So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do". Verbal abuse can occur so often in a marriage until it becomes a normal habit within a marriage. Slowly, it can chip away at your marriage until you open your eyes one day and there is a huge open crater in your marriage.
In all that we do in our marriage, strive to be God-like as much as humanly possible. I know this is an impossible task, but if we continue to attempt this task, it will become habitual. Once that sets in, then it becomes a part of your everyday life to touch and speak to your spouse only in love. Any other way is not of God.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Simply put, as a married couple, neither the husband nor wife should ever put his or her hands (or any object) on the other in anger. Why would you have to? We should all have enough self control to refrain from such behavior. We should have enough sense to walk away from the situation if needed. It's not about being "The Man" or being "Miss Independent Woman"...it's about being a man and woman of God.
Now you may be saying that women don't do anything to abuse men; and I guess that may be true most of the time with physical abuse. However, there are other types of abuse that women may be the culprit of...along with men. The Mouth/Tongue. The Bible says in James 3:5 "So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do". Verbal abuse can occur so often in a marriage until it becomes a normal habit within a marriage. Slowly, it can chip away at your marriage until you open your eyes one day and there is a huge open crater in your marriage.
In all that we do in our marriage, strive to be God-like as much as humanly possible. I know this is an impossible task, but if we continue to attempt this task, it will become habitual. Once that sets in, then it becomes a part of your everyday life to touch and speak to your spouse only in love. Any other way is not of God.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone
Thursday, September 18, 2008
In Agreement...Prayer...Confirmed!!!
Matthew 18:19 says...If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.
In my last blog I spoke about how my wife and I came into agreement on a situation we were encountering and we both were sure that we would not get the outcome we asked God for. Well as that verse says...if two of you agree and ask God, He will do it for you. Well, He did it for us and He did it when we, earthly vessels, had every doubt that we would not get the outcome we wanted. I learned a huge lesson...don't doubt what God can do. Something that may take man months or years to accomplish, God can accomplish in days or even minutes.
Now I do believe that if my wife and I had not come into full agreement on what we wanted, we would still be sitting in the same situation as before...we would still be pulling in opposite directions, and who knows what would happen.
I am so amazed at what God just did for us and what He is continuing to do to us. Let me share the situation with you. Please bear with me and I will keep it short...
We've had our house on the market for a year and on our way out of town the weekend before last, we got an offer for the house and the potential buyer wanted to close in 2 weeks. We accepted the offer and requested that the closing be pushed out 1 more week...so we would close in 3 weeks. Well, there was one problem now...we, family of 4, needed a place to live in 3 weeks. Now, one would think that we could get an apartment for 6 months or a year (my wife's suggestion). Well, an apartment would not work for me because I am an artist and I need extra space to continue doing my work...just not enough room in an apartment. My suggestion was that we find a home to rent. As you can see, my wife and I at this point are looking in opposite directions; and we only have 3 weeks to find a place to live. That's where this story picks up in my previous blog where God laid it upon my heart that my wife and I needed to be in agreement on this and then we come to Him in prayer and ask Him for what we need. We agreed in the car on the way back home that we wanted to find a home to purchase. We had specifics on what we needed in and around this new home...neighborhood, number of rooms, yard space, and a few other things. It is what I considered an impossible mission. All I could tell my wife was...now that we are in agreement, let's go to God in agreement and ask Him to help us with this situation and then let Him do his thing. Well skip ahead 1 week and skip over the 10 or 11 homes we went out and looked at, we rolled into a very nice neighborhood and walked in a house that had everything we needed. That night, we faxed an offer in that was under the asking price and well under what the home was originally priced at. The following day, the seller accepted the offer. Now here I am thinking that there was no way we would be able to find a house to purchase within 3 weeks, and God presented this house to us in 7 days. That's how God works. He makes the impossible possible.
That's the blessing that I wanted to share and I hope to have my family in our new house within 2 weeks (prayerfully everything will go smoothly leading up to the closing).
I now realize and fully understand Matthew 18:19 and can testify on what it says. I am anxious and anticipating going to God in agreement with my wife on all aspects of our life and allow Him to move in our marriage, family, work, finances, ministry, and everything else. I strongly encourage you to come in agreement with your spouse in any area that you need God's favor and direction. Go to Him in unified prayer and let Him do His thing.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
In my last blog I spoke about how my wife and I came into agreement on a situation we were encountering and we both were sure that we would not get the outcome we asked God for. Well as that verse says...if two of you agree and ask God, He will do it for you. Well, He did it for us and He did it when we, earthly vessels, had every doubt that we would not get the outcome we wanted. I learned a huge lesson...don't doubt what God can do. Something that may take man months or years to accomplish, God can accomplish in days or even minutes.
Now I do believe that if my wife and I had not come into full agreement on what we wanted, we would still be sitting in the same situation as before...we would still be pulling in opposite directions, and who knows what would happen.
I am so amazed at what God just did for us and what He is continuing to do to us. Let me share the situation with you. Please bear with me and I will keep it short...
We've had our house on the market for a year and on our way out of town the weekend before last, we got an offer for the house and the potential buyer wanted to close in 2 weeks. We accepted the offer and requested that the closing be pushed out 1 more week...so we would close in 3 weeks. Well, there was one problem now...we, family of 4, needed a place to live in 3 weeks. Now, one would think that we could get an apartment for 6 months or a year (my wife's suggestion). Well, an apartment would not work for me because I am an artist and I need extra space to continue doing my work...just not enough room in an apartment. My suggestion was that we find a home to rent. As you can see, my wife and I at this point are looking in opposite directions; and we only have 3 weeks to find a place to live. That's where this story picks up in my previous blog where God laid it upon my heart that my wife and I needed to be in agreement on this and then we come to Him in prayer and ask Him for what we need. We agreed in the car on the way back home that we wanted to find a home to purchase. We had specifics on what we needed in and around this new home...neighborhood, number of rooms, yard space, and a few other things. It is what I considered an impossible mission. All I could tell my wife was...now that we are in agreement, let's go to God in agreement and ask Him to help us with this situation and then let Him do his thing. Well skip ahead 1 week and skip over the 10 or 11 homes we went out and looked at, we rolled into a very nice neighborhood and walked in a house that had everything we needed. That night, we faxed an offer in that was under the asking price and well under what the home was originally priced at. The following day, the seller accepted the offer. Now here I am thinking that there was no way we would be able to find a house to purchase within 3 weeks, and God presented this house to us in 7 days. That's how God works. He makes the impossible possible.
That's the blessing that I wanted to share and I hope to have my family in our new house within 2 weeks (prayerfully everything will go smoothly leading up to the closing).
I now realize and fully understand Matthew 18:19 and can testify on what it says. I am anxious and anticipating going to God in agreement with my wife on all aspects of our life and allow Him to move in our marriage, family, work, finances, ministry, and everything else. I strongly encourage you to come in agreement with your spouse in any area that you need God's favor and direction. Go to Him in unified prayer and let Him do His thing.
Let me know your thoughts.
Take care and be blessed.
Monday, September 8, 2008
In Agreement...Prayer
In my last blog, I spoke about becoming a better spouse. One activity stated in the blog to do is "pray with your spouse". I want to touch on this activity for a few lines.
As we (wife, son, and myself) were driving back to Atlanta from an out of town trip, I had an opportunity to do some thinking and meditating (wife and son were sleep) on everything that we have going through in our current lives. As I pondered an important decision that would have to be made within the next few days, I realized that prayer would be needed to help us make it through this decision process. While I consistently pray for guidance and direction from God, I realized that this was something that my wife and I needed to pray about together. At this point, something hit me in regards to my individual prayers and my wife's individual prayers on the situation ...are we in agreement on what we want the outcome of our situation to be? As I thought about this, my spiritual eyes and mind began to open and I realized that my wife and I need to be in agreement with all of our prayers, both individually and collectively.
The biblical verse Matthew 18:19 speaks directly on this principle. It states...If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. I realized that I needed to talk to my wife about this situation and find out exactly what she expects to happen at the end of the day, and I needed to tell her what I expect to happen when all is said and done. After that, we would need to agree on an outcome that we wanted and expected. Once we agreed, we could then go to God together in agreement and ask for His wisdom, guidance, and favor on our situation.
When my wife woke up, I proceeded to ask her questions on what she thought about things and what she wanted and expected from the situation at hand. I then gave my thoughts and we then agreed on what we wanted out of the situation. Later that night, it was extremely easy and comforting to hold my wife's hands and go to God in prayer expressing to Him our concerns and needs. This is something we rarely do, especially to this extent...being in full agreement and praying together. It was a true lesson learned on praying with my wife...which is to make sure I have completed the prerequisite of being in agreement with my spouse.
I strongly suggest that if you and your spouse are going through any hardships, whether it be relational, spiritual, physical, or financial; take the time to come in agreement with each other on the outcome that you want and expect. Once in agreement, pray to God about it and then let Him do His work.
As always, let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
As we (wife, son, and myself) were driving back to Atlanta from an out of town trip, I had an opportunity to do some thinking and meditating (wife and son were sleep) on everything that we have going through in our current lives. As I pondered an important decision that would have to be made within the next few days, I realized that prayer would be needed to help us make it through this decision process. While I consistently pray for guidance and direction from God, I realized that this was something that my wife and I needed to pray about together. At this point, something hit me in regards to my individual prayers and my wife's individual prayers on the situation ...are we in agreement on what we want the outcome of our situation to be? As I thought about this, my spiritual eyes and mind began to open and I realized that my wife and I need to be in agreement with all of our prayers, both individually and collectively.
The biblical verse Matthew 18:19 speaks directly on this principle. It states...If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. I realized that I needed to talk to my wife about this situation and find out exactly what she expects to happen at the end of the day, and I needed to tell her what I expect to happen when all is said and done. After that, we would need to agree on an outcome that we wanted and expected. Once we agreed, we could then go to God together in agreement and ask for His wisdom, guidance, and favor on our situation.
When my wife woke up, I proceeded to ask her questions on what she thought about things and what she wanted and expected from the situation at hand. I then gave my thoughts and we then agreed on what we wanted out of the situation. Later that night, it was extremely easy and comforting to hold my wife's hands and go to God in prayer expressing to Him our concerns and needs. This is something we rarely do, especially to this extent...being in full agreement and praying together. It was a true lesson learned on praying with my wife...which is to make sure I have completed the prerequisite of being in agreement with my spouse.
I strongly suggest that if you and your spouse are going through any hardships, whether it be relational, spiritual, physical, or financial; take the time to come in agreement with each other on the outcome that you want and expect. Once in agreement, pray to God about it and then let Him do His work.
As always, let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Learn How to Be a Better Spouse
Do you think you know all there is to know about being a great husband or being a great wife? If so, please sit down and write out that manual and sell the first copy to me. I don’t think there is anyone living that can rightfully say that they know everything there is to know on being a great spouse. With that being said, every couple in a marriage should be permanently enrolled in the school of marriage. Simply put, couples must strive to learn how to be a better spouse. I would guess that this learning process continues until you leave this earth.
How do you learn to be a better spouse? Well, I can give you my thoughts on that question…and please know that these items are ideas that I follow or that I am trying to follow in becoming a better spouse.
1. Pray. (a) Pray for answers to the many questions that come up in your marriage. Pray for understanding of what marriage is and what marriage is for. Pray for the purpose of your marriage. Pray for increased wisdom within your marriage. Pray for improvements within yourself before praying for improvements within your spouse. Pray for any and everything that you can think of that will improve your marriage. An open relationship with God will allow Him to reveal many of the answers that you will need to improve your marriage and become a better spouse to your significant other. (b) Pray with your spouse. This may be one of the most intimate activities you can have with your spouse. Praying with your spouse may also be one of the most challenging for some…especially if you don’t have a solid personal prayer life established. If you are not completely comfortable with this, make it an extremely short prayer. Take your spouse by the hands and quickly say “Thank you Lord for my spouse and my marriage!” Leave it at that and then make it longer next time.
2. Learn from daily experiences. You and your spouse will go through something each day that may or may not challenge your marriage. It may be small or it may be something big. Regardless of the size of the event, you should make every effort to learn from the event to ensure that you handle the situation better the next time around.
3. Learn from other married couples’ experiences. If possible, it is great to learn from others’ experiences so that you can avoid going through a stressful situation. If you encounter a couple going through a negative period in their marriage, it would be wise to learn from their negative situation so that you don’t go through that same situation in the future. On the positive side, be sure to learn as much as you can from couples that have positive periods occurring in their marriages.
4. Read. While there is nothing better than on-the-job-training, there are many books, articles, and other media that offer very good advice on many marital subjects. One of the best books that give precise instructions on how to have a successful marriage is the Holy Bible. There are specific instructions on how a husband should treat his wife and instructions on how a wife should treat her husband. This book is filled with many accounts of marriages that you can read about and learn from. Additionally, there are other books written by today’s authors that give good insight on maintaining a healthy and loving marriage.
When you said “I DO”, a commitment was made to love your spouse forever. A commitment also should have been made to be the best spouse possible. How do engineers become great engineers?...how do doctors become great doctors?...they go to school to learn the skills to be a great engineer and doctor. When you get married, you become a spouse…something that you have never been before. What are you going to do to learn how to become a great spouse? GO TO SCHOOL!
Let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
How do you learn to be a better spouse? Well, I can give you my thoughts on that question…and please know that these items are ideas that I follow or that I am trying to follow in becoming a better spouse.
1. Pray. (a) Pray for answers to the many questions that come up in your marriage. Pray for understanding of what marriage is and what marriage is for. Pray for the purpose of your marriage. Pray for increased wisdom within your marriage. Pray for improvements within yourself before praying for improvements within your spouse. Pray for any and everything that you can think of that will improve your marriage. An open relationship with God will allow Him to reveal many of the answers that you will need to improve your marriage and become a better spouse to your significant other. (b) Pray with your spouse. This may be one of the most intimate activities you can have with your spouse. Praying with your spouse may also be one of the most challenging for some…especially if you don’t have a solid personal prayer life established. If you are not completely comfortable with this, make it an extremely short prayer. Take your spouse by the hands and quickly say “Thank you Lord for my spouse and my marriage!” Leave it at that and then make it longer next time.
2. Learn from daily experiences. You and your spouse will go through something each day that may or may not challenge your marriage. It may be small or it may be something big. Regardless of the size of the event, you should make every effort to learn from the event to ensure that you handle the situation better the next time around.
3. Learn from other married couples’ experiences. If possible, it is great to learn from others’ experiences so that you can avoid going through a stressful situation. If you encounter a couple going through a negative period in their marriage, it would be wise to learn from their negative situation so that you don’t go through that same situation in the future. On the positive side, be sure to learn as much as you can from couples that have positive periods occurring in their marriages.
4. Read. While there is nothing better than on-the-job-training, there are many books, articles, and other media that offer very good advice on many marital subjects. One of the best books that give precise instructions on how to have a successful marriage is the Holy Bible. There are specific instructions on how a husband should treat his wife and instructions on how a wife should treat her husband. This book is filled with many accounts of marriages that you can read about and learn from. Additionally, there are other books written by today’s authors that give good insight on maintaining a healthy and loving marriage.
When you said “I DO”, a commitment was made to love your spouse forever. A commitment also should have been made to be the best spouse possible. How do engineers become great engineers?...how do doctors become great doctors?...they go to school to learn the skills to be a great engineer and doctor. When you get married, you become a spouse…something that you have never been before. What are you going to do to learn how to become a great spouse? GO TO SCHOOL!
Let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
To The Wives...Be Noble - Part 2
In my last post, I spoke of several verses in the last chapter of Proverbs which outlines the character of a noble wife. I was asked to go deeper into my comment regarding verses 11 & 12 which states..."Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life".
Here are my thoughts on these verses. I asked my wife for her hand in marriage approximately 8 or 9 months after we started dating. Once married, there was a major challenge of now growing with each other...trusting each other. I think trust has different levels or can be sectioned in different categories...such as trust with feelings and emotions, trust with money, trust with hopes and dreams, etc. Within each category, the trust level may differ; nonetheless, there is trust there. If I trust my wife in all these categories, then I can have a clear path to enjoying my marriage without a bunch of distractions and concerns coming into the picture. When there is a lack of trust in an area, negative thoughts and feelings have the potential of entering into the mind and eventually the relationship. Once negativity is in the relationship, other areas can become affected which can slow down the growing and maturation of the marriage. Hopes and dreams of the marriage, as well as other areas, are now being hindered or delayed because the two are not on the same page. You may not communicate properly with each other concerning emotions, money, or even personal dreams and aspirations.
Now, having a wife that I can trust allows me to be expressive and be the best husband, father and provider I can be. A few personal examples of this in my marriage are:
1. Money - we had to cover 2 mortgage payments for one year that put a financial strain on our household and marriage. Thru this time period, our trust between each other grew tremendously regarding money and how it is utilized within our household. This experience gave me the assurance that I can trust my wife whole heartedly when it comes to money matters in our marriage. Trust me, having that peace of mind enriches my life a lot :)
2. Dreams, goals, and aspirations - I am in the process of starting a side business selling my artwork, as well as potentially publishing a book in the future. When I told my wife about my goals, she gave me her full support and told me to go for it. While her words were not many, they were meaningful. She did not question or hinder me in any way. Her words were only motivation. Her show of confidence in me gives me that extra push that I need sometimes to keep me striving towards my goal. Of course the potential benefits of the outcome is very attractive to her :)
Nonetheless, knowing that I can trust my wife with these areas in my life and our marriage makes things so much easier in daily life...it enhances life and marriage.
The best thing that a woman can do for a man (and I would say that this is one of the key things that a man wants from his wife) is "To make your man truly feel like a man". This will open up all doors in a marriage and you might be surprised what you get in return. I will leave it at that.
Let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
Here are my thoughts on these verses. I asked my wife for her hand in marriage approximately 8 or 9 months after we started dating. Once married, there was a major challenge of now growing with each other...trusting each other. I think trust has different levels or can be sectioned in different categories...such as trust with feelings and emotions, trust with money, trust with hopes and dreams, etc. Within each category, the trust level may differ; nonetheless, there is trust there. If I trust my wife in all these categories, then I can have a clear path to enjoying my marriage without a bunch of distractions and concerns coming into the picture. When there is a lack of trust in an area, negative thoughts and feelings have the potential of entering into the mind and eventually the relationship. Once negativity is in the relationship, other areas can become affected which can slow down the growing and maturation of the marriage. Hopes and dreams of the marriage, as well as other areas, are now being hindered or delayed because the two are not on the same page. You may not communicate properly with each other concerning emotions, money, or even personal dreams and aspirations.
Now, having a wife that I can trust allows me to be expressive and be the best husband, father and provider I can be. A few personal examples of this in my marriage are:
1. Money - we had to cover 2 mortgage payments for one year that put a financial strain on our household and marriage. Thru this time period, our trust between each other grew tremendously regarding money and how it is utilized within our household. This experience gave me the assurance that I can trust my wife whole heartedly when it comes to money matters in our marriage. Trust me, having that peace of mind enriches my life a lot :)
2. Dreams, goals, and aspirations - I am in the process of starting a side business selling my artwork, as well as potentially publishing a book in the future. When I told my wife about my goals, she gave me her full support and told me to go for it. While her words were not many, they were meaningful. She did not question or hinder me in any way. Her words were only motivation. Her show of confidence in me gives me that extra push that I need sometimes to keep me striving towards my goal. Of course the potential benefits of the outcome is very attractive to her :)
Nonetheless, knowing that I can trust my wife with these areas in my life and our marriage makes things so much easier in daily life...it enhances life and marriage.
The best thing that a woman can do for a man (and I would say that this is one of the key things that a man wants from his wife) is "To make your man truly feel like a man". This will open up all doors in a marriage and you might be surprised what you get in return. I will leave it at that.
Let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
Friday, March 14, 2008
To the Wives...be Noble
The Book of Proverbs is a book of the Bible that teaches us about wisdom and discipline. A month or so ago, my wife stated that she was going to read all of Proverbs and really work on understanding the content and she asked me to do the same. Being that I love reading the first few chapters of Proverbs, I have never read the entire book. So I took it on. Upon completing the book, I ran into some interesting scriptures that pinpoints the character of a noble wife. You can find these scriptures in the last chapter of Proverbs (Prov. 31:10-31). I read from the New Living Translation version.
Verse 10 starts off by saying that a wife is "worth more than precious rubies". Wives, you must realize your worth in a marriage; and husbands, you must recognize your wife's worth. I am sure we do recognize this, but we may not acknowledge this as often as we should. Now the next two verses (11 & 12) really caught my attention. It states..."Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life". What more can a husband ask for. For me, that just about sums up what I need and want from my wife...this encompasses every detail in a marriage. The remaining verses go on to give more insight into different aspects of a noble wife. Now of course, some verses appear to speak of actions of that time period; so I challenge you to see how your activities in today's time can relate to the activities mentioned in these verses.
Take a look at it (Proverbs 31:10-31) and let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
Verse 10 starts off by saying that a wife is "worth more than precious rubies". Wives, you must realize your worth in a marriage; and husbands, you must recognize your wife's worth. I am sure we do recognize this, but we may not acknowledge this as often as we should. Now the next two verses (11 & 12) really caught my attention. It states..."Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life". What more can a husband ask for. For me, that just about sums up what I need and want from my wife...this encompasses every detail in a marriage. The remaining verses go on to give more insight into different aspects of a noble wife. Now of course, some verses appear to speak of actions of that time period; so I challenge you to see how your activities in today's time can relate to the activities mentioned in these verses.
Take a look at it (Proverbs 31:10-31) and let me know your thoughts.
Be blessed and talk to you soon.
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